The depth of my obsession

For years I bought things. Pixels, Items, virtual stuff on here at Mara. I would literally take 50-100mill out and buy event items and toss them in my attic. I bought AU especially CMT tokens and get those items in mass.

I bought and bought making sure I got everything for my collections and enough to stash away.

For years. Then I went away on hiatus. I came back around 2020 lockdown and realized all the items I had hoarded were worth mega MP.

SO I started selling this stuff. I gave stuff away by haunting peoples wishlists. My club got loads of items. I traded item for item all the time. A LOT of items passed thru my account. Each year since I thought my stock of expensive items was growing smaller and smaller. Until now. As I pull everything out of my attic I am realizing the sickness I may have when it comes to Mara.

This never translated in real life. I am conservative never shop or hoard things. I was a financial planner in my carreer. I never spent unnecessarily except to buy AU. My one vice.

I am thinking Mara was shopping therapy for me and now I am overloaded with so much stuff. Impossible.

I am not here to brag. I am here to share a self discovery of perhaps a mental health flaw I had. The time I was on Mara was after I had 2 ruptured Brain annuerysms in 2012. I literally died on the OR Table for 92 secs.
And this all happened 2 years after I had traumatic back surgery that left me disabled for life.

I am thinking that shopping in Mara became a substitute of everything gone wrong in my life and health. Then 4 years after this all happened to me, my husband got sick. Terminally sick and I had to step up. I took care of him - keeping him alive for the next 2 years. Unsuccessfully. However in taking care of my husband, I got healthier. I lost 120lbs (55kilo) I was human again. About 1 year after he passed I had to make changes and I made a life for myself.

This is when I started selling.

This has been a journey of self discovery thru Marapets. I am just now realizing the depths of my shopping obsession in Mara and the coorelation of what was going on in my real life.

Its been eye opening.