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johnnybgoode
  1. just rambling i guess
    26th Apr 2015 07:41
    9 years & 7 months ago
  2. an endless tale
    22nd Oct 2014 07:17
    10 years, 1 month & 3 days ago
  3. i've now decided
    21st Jul 2014 05:14
    10 years, 4 months & 6 days ago
  4. acorns
    4th Jul 2014 05:28
    10 years, 4 months & 23 days ago
  5. inanimate people
    14th Nov 2011 18:32
    13 years & 10 days ago
  6. inanimate people / contours
    30th Oct 2011 18:29
    13 years & 25 days ago
  7. just yesterday
    24th Oct 2011 20:56
    13 years, 1 month & 1 day ago
  8. together they know
    27th Sep 2011 17:08
    13 years, 1 month & 28 days ago
  9. animal rescue
    8th Sep 2011 19:04
    13 years, 2 months & 16 days ago
  10. affluence
    8th Sep 2011 18:06
    13 years, 2 months & 16 days ago
acceptance
15 years, 6 months & 23 days ago
3rd May 2009 15:53

he lies with a teardrop on his cheek
dripping down to fall on sodden sheets,
the hopelessness in his brain
overcomes him
as he lays alone and silently weeps,
voices and the pain screaming
the intensity of loss
burning hurt ripping through him
as the wind blows outside the window
moving the world forward
a world that he wants to see
a world that he wants to share
a world he knows he will no longer see
and the pain grips
intensifying with every breath.
and then stills.
as the hurt leaks weaker from his heart
he turns his head to the window
and stares at the moon,
swallowed up in its greatness
the extreme existence of earth
his mind follows his life
and wonders?
pondering the complexity that is living
acceptance overwhelms him
as he lays down his tired head
and gently closes his defeated eyes
against a world that never real knew what it was that he said.

********
copyright of this poem has been registered to myself so please do not copy and paste onto random blogs - many thanks - johnny

Ahti
that's pretty deep, content-wise it's perfect.

You already got plenty of wordplays in this poem, but it doesn't always flow that well, and there are hardly any sound patterns (not talking about rhyme)
115 years, 6 months & 5 days ago 22nd May 2009 00:35
 
know its hard 4 u johnny & this is heartbreakin man, missin u, be bk sat

luv ya bro
115 years, 6 months & 20 days ago 6th May 2009 12:15
 
:]

Awsome Johnny.
115 years, 6 months & 21 days ago 5th May 2009 16:34
 
  1. just rambling i guess
    26th Apr 2015 07:41
    9 years & 7 months ago
  2. an endless tale
    22nd Oct 2014 07:17
    10 years, 1 month & 3 days ago
  3. i've now decided
    21st Jul 2014 05:14
    10 years, 4 months & 6 days ago
  4. acorns
    4th Jul 2014 05:28
    10 years, 4 months & 23 days ago
  5. inanimate people
    14th Nov 2011 18:32
    13 years & 10 days ago
  6. inanimate people / contours
    30th Oct 2011 18:29
    13 years & 25 days ago
  7. just yesterday
    24th Oct 2011 20:56
    13 years, 1 month & 1 day ago
  8. together they know
    27th Sep 2011 17:08
    13 years, 1 month & 28 days ago
  9. animal rescue
    8th Sep 2011 19:04
    13 years, 2 months & 16 days ago
  10. affluence
    8th Sep 2011 18:06
    13 years, 2 months & 16 days ago