This is my 1st finished book/story

Okay,so I'm considering being an author and I need some ppl to judge my writting.I must warn you that this is a love story,it's not like twilight where it's a fairy tail "forbiden love",I just can't stand that(no offense twilight lovers).It does have some simalarities to Twilight,but very few.My spelling isn't good,in fact it's horrible but I need more than my friend at school to read it.It is long,so if you don't like reading,don't bother.If you're not interested,that's fine,but towards the end(if you get there) it would be worth it.After you read it please give me your honest opinion.Thank you.



Ch. 1
Love on first day?

"Rachel!"
I felt a push.
"Rachel,get up!"
I knew I was probably going to be late for my first day of school,but I was having a wonderful dream.
My father was home working on his car with me just talking about the parts.I have no idea why it was good but I didn't want it to end.
"Rachel,get up or I'll-"
I sighed,"Okay,I'm up!Just stop screeching!"I hated when my mom "threatened" me.
"Well,you don't want to be late do you?"she glared at me.
I waved her out of my room so I could get ready.
"Okay,now hurry up!I have a surprise for you."I heard her say.I watched her leave me room then ran to the closet.Fashion wasn't my thing and I knew it.
When I did try to dress nice,I looked like a clown.My closet wasn't full of name-brand things,even the stores they came from weren't name-brand.
I sighed and grabbed a green,long-sleeved shirt and some old jeans.
"Well,good enough..."I mumbled and threw them on.Then I looked at my hair.
It looked like a big,black mop.I ripped a brush through it which helped,then just grabbed a hat from my drawer.I snatched my stuff and dashed downstairs to see what the big surprise was.

"Finally!"my mom always thought I took forever to do things,"Follow me."She lead me into the shack,or what she called the "garage",behind our house and opened the door."Ta-da!"she beamed at me,"Well,what do you think?"
I tried to not laugh at the vehicle standing in front of me.It was a sky-blue mo-ped with a brown seat cover.I walked around it seeing if anything was wrong with it.I saw that a brake light was out and that the tailpipe was bent at a weird angle.
"Well?"my mom was on her heals waiting for me to go crazy over the mo-ped.
"Well...it's,um,"I had no idea how to say what I really felt without hurting her feelings,so I lied."It's wonderful!I love it,but-"
"But what?"Mom was in her worry-mode now.
I thought for a moment,"Nut...it needs a new brake light!"I blurted out.
"Oh!Well you can get that later,"she chuckled,"Now get to school!"
"Okay,bye Mom and,um...thanks again!"I climbed onto the no-ped and started it up.It sputtered black smoke,I groaned,luckily Mom didn't hear me because the motor was so loud.
"Good luck!"she called as I rode off.

I drove into the parking lot and saw a lot of people staring."Great,"I thought,"now they can tell I"m new..."I set the kickstand on the ground and trudged into the school.
I saw more eyes on me and hurried to my first class to get away.I glanced up and spotted three girls laughing in my direction.I felt like saying something,but I knew it would get me in trouble.
The bell rang and the teacher took role,when he got to my name he was puzzled,"Rachel Anderson?"
"Yes?I'm here."I prayed he wouldn't make me come sit up front.
"New right?"he asked and smiled before I could answer,"Well if you need any help I'm sure Amy can help you."
"Uh,thanks,"I grinned nervously and saw a girl wave at me who must be Amy.
"Okay class,your assignment is on the board!If you don't finish,it's due tomorrow!"he clapped his hands,"Chop,chop!"

The bell rang and I gathered my things.
"Hi!"
I jumped around,it was Amy.
"I'm Amy!Rachel?"she held out her hand.
"Yeah,"I shook her hand,"nice to meet you."
She beamed and I saw her perfectness,"So,where are you from Rachel?"
I heaved my bag over my shoulder,"Uh,New York,"I smiled and started to second period,Amy followed.
"Wow!Really?What's it like?Who's your next teacher?"
"Ms. Cambell,and it isn't all that great,"I shrugged,"okay I guess."
Her excited smile vanished,"Oh...I have her too!I'll show you the way!"
"Cool,"I smiled.
Amy asked tons of questions and I answered all of them until we got to class.
"Oh!Did you ever see-"
"Hold on,"I cut her off,"I have to talk to the teacher."
"Sure!"Amy swung around and skipped to her seat.
When I came to Ms. Cambell's desk,she looked up,"Yes?"she seemed irritated.
"I'm Rachel Anderson,the new student,"I tried to be polite,but it didn't pay off.
"Okay well get to your seat Miss Anderson!Take an empty one!"she snapped at me.
"Thank you,"I said and hurried to my seat.It was between Amy and another empty desk.
"Yay!"Amy clapped like a little girl,"So did you ever see-"
The bell rang and Ms Cambell took role.
"Never mind...I'll ask you later,"Amy crossed her arms and stared at the board.
"Anderson!"the teacher cried.
"Here!"I called at her.
"Good!Benson!"she glared around the room,"Shawn Benson!"
"Yeah,yeah...I'm here!"Shawn was in the doorway.His black hair was combed back-like Hannibal Lecter in "Hannibal Rising"-and his shirt revealed his mussels which showed he'd worked out.He wore Levi jeans and old sneakers."Sorry I'm late,"he chuckled,his voice was beautiful.
"/Again/!What's your excuse?!?" Ms. Cambell snapped.
"Well,I had...more important things to do,"He grinned,his teeth were perfect.
"Well sit down next to Miss Anderson!"she was frustrated.
"Alright,whatever you say,"Shawn mumbled.
I gawked at him,he was the most handsome thing I'd ever seen and he was sitting next to me.Unfortunatly,he noticed me.
"Sup?"he winked at me and my heart skipped a beat,"What's your name?"
"Rachel!"I shouted,everyone glanced at me and I looked down of embarrassment.
"Rachel,"Shawn repeated,"Beautiful name,"he smiled at me,"Shawn."He held out his hand and I took it.
"Yeah,I heard it,"I blurted stupidly.
"Benson!Anderson!Get to work!"Ms. Cambell screeched.
-continue in a little while-