female comebacks - I read this and found some of them funny.
Man: Where have you been all my life? Woman: Hiding from you. .... ... .. . Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before? Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore. . .. ... .... Man: Is this seat empty? Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down. .... ... .. . Man: Your place or mine? Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine. .... ... .. . Man: So, what do you do for a living? Woman: I'm a female impersonator. . .. ... .... Man: Hey baby, what's your sign? Woman: Do not enter. .... ... .. . Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning? Woman: Unfertilized. . .. ... .... Man: Your body is like a temple. Woman: Sorry, there are no services today .... ... .. . Man: I would go to the end of the world for you. Woman: But would you stay there? . .. ... .... Man: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy. Woman: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing. .... ... .. . Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put u and i together Woman: Really, I'd put f and u together . .. ... .... If you repost this you will get a phone call 37 minutes after you repost this.... .... ... .. . If you don't resend this then your love life will be [[doomed]] for eternity. . .. ... .... CHICKS REPOST THIS AS "female comebacks" .... ... .. . DUDES REPOST THIS AS "don't let this happen
YOUR BOY SIDE: [x] you love hoodies [] you love jeans [] dogs are better then cats [x] its hilarious when people get hurt [] you've played with/against boys on a team [x] shopping is torture [x] sad movies suck [] you own an XBOX [] you played with Hot Wheels as a little kid [] at some point in life you wanted to be a firefighter [x] you own/owned a DS PS2 or Sega [] you used to be obsessed with Power Rangers [] you watch sports on TV [x] gory movies are cool [] you go to your dad for advice [] you own like a trillion baseball hats [] you used to/do collect football collector cards [x] baggy sweatpants are sweet [x] its kind of weird to have sleepovers with a bunch of people [x] green, black, red, blue, or silver are one of your favorite colors [x] you love to go crazy and not care what other people think [] sports are fun [] you talk with food in your mouth [] you sleep at night with your socks on [x] you hate claires the store total:11
YOUR GIRL SIDE: [] you love to shop [x] you wear eyeliner [] you wear the color pink [] you go to your mom for advice [] you consider cheerleading a sport [] you hate wearing the color black [] you like going to the mall [] you like getting manicures and/or pedicures [] you like wearing jewelry [] you cried watching The Notebook [] skirts are a big parts of your wardrobe [] shopping is one of your favorite hobbies [x] you dont like the movie Star Wars [] you are/were in gymnastics [] it takes you around one hour to shower get dressed and make up [] you smile alot more than you should [] you have more than 10 pairs of shoes [] you care about what you look like [] you like wearing dresses when you can [] you wear body spray/perfume [] you like high heel shoes [] you used to play with dolls as a kid [] you like putting makeup on others [] you like being the star of almost everything [] pink is one of your favorite colors total:2
lol xD
() Smoked a cigarette () Drank so much you threw up () Crashed a friend's car () Stolen a car () Been in love () Been dumped () Shoplifted () Been laid off/fired /dormant company () Quit your job () Been in a fist fight () Snuck out of your parent's house () Had feelings for someone who didn't have them back () Been arrested () Gone on a blind date () Been married (x) Lied to a friend (x) Skipped school () Seen someone die () Been to Canada () Been to Mexico () Been on a plane () Been lost () Been on the opposite side of the country () Gone to Washington, DC () Swam in the ocean (X) Felt like dying () Cried yourself to sleep (x) Played cops and robbers (x)Recently colored with crayons () Sang karaoke () Been divorced () Paid for a meal with only coins (X) Done something you told yourself you wouldn't () Made prank phone calls () Laughed until some kind of beverage came out of your nose (X) Caught a snowflake on your tongue (x) Danced in the rain () Written a letter to Santa Clause () Been kissed under mistletoe () Watched the sun rise with someone you care about (X) Blown bubbles () Made a bonfire on the beach () Crashed a party (X)Gone roller skating () Ice skating total:10
Copy, Paste, Don???t look at the bottom before you do the thing or it won???t work! This is scary but pretty accurate.
1. Which color is better red, black,green,blue or yellow? black
2. What???s your middle initial? n
3. What month is your birthday? august
4. Which color do you like more, black or white? Black
5. name one of your friends? Mariah
6. Your favorite number? 25
7. Do you like flying or driving more? driving
8. Do you like a lake or the ocean more? ocean
9. Think of a wish, but don???t write it >>WISHING<<
???Answers???
1. If you chose: Red: You are alert and your life is full of love.
Black: You are conservative and aggressive.
Green: Your soul is relaxed and you are laid back.
Blue: You are spontaneous and love kisses and affection from the ones you love and give good advice to those who are down.
Yellow - you are a very happy person..
2. If you???re initial is:
A-K: You have a lot of love and friendships in your life.
L-R: You try to enjoy your life to the maximum & your love life is soon to blossom.
S-Z: You like to help others and your future love life looks very good.
3. If you were born in:
Jan-Mar: The year will go very well for you and you will discover that you fall in love with someone totally
April-June: You will have a strong love relationship that will last forever.
July-Sept: You will have a great year and will experience a major life- changing experience for the good.
Oct-Dec: Your love life will be great, and eventually you will find your soul mate.
4. If you chose:
Black: Your life will take you on a different direction, it will seem hard at times but will be the best thing for you, and you will be glad for the change.
White: You will have a friend who completely confides in you and would do anything for you, but you may not realize it.
5. This person is your best friend:
6. If it is:
1-50 you are a very lovable person and you have a great life*
more than 50 is nothing
7. If you chose:
Flying - You like adventure.
Driving - You are a laid back person.
8. If you chose:
Lake - You are loyal to your friends, your lover, and yourself. You are very reserved and not emotional.
Ocean - You are spontaneous and like to please people sometimes.
9. This wish will come true only if you repost this with the title: Emotional test. Dont Cheat!
My name is Becky I am but three, My eyes are swollen I cannot see, I must be stupid I must be bad, What else could have made My daddy so mad? I wish I were better I wish I weren't ugly, Then maybe my mommy Would still want to hug me. I can't speak at all I can't do a wrong Or else I'm locked up All the day long. When I awake I'm all alone The house is dark My folks aren't home When my mommy does come I'll try and be nice, So maybe I'll get just One whipping tonight. Don't make a sound! I just heard a car My daddy is back From Charlie's Bar. I hear him curse My name he calls I press myself Against the wall I try and hide From his evil eyes I'm so afraid now I'm starting to cry He finds me weeping He shouts ugly words, He says its my fault That he suffers at work. He slaps me and hits me And yells at me more, I finally get free And I run for the door. He's already locked it And I start to bawl, He takes me and throws me Against the hard wall. I fall to the floor With my bones nearly broken, And my daddy continues With more bad words spoken. "I'm sorry!", I scream But its now much too late His face has been twisted Into unimaginable hate The hurt and the pain Again and again Oh please God, have mercy! Oh please let it end! And he finally stops And heads for the door, While I lay there motionless Sprawled on the floor
My name is Becky And I am but three, Tonight my daddy Murdered me.
There are thousands of kids out there just like Becky. And you can help.
Sickens me to my soul, and if you just read this and don't pass it on I pray for your forgiveness, cause you would have to be one heartless person to not be effected by this story. And because you are effected, do something about it!! So all I am asking you to do, is take some time to send this on and acknowledge that this stuff does happen, and that people like her dad do live in our society, and I pray for child abuse to wither out and die, but also pray for the safety of our youth.
Please pass this poem on because as crazy as it might sound, it might just indirectly change a life. Hey, you NEVER know. Please put this on your site if you are *~*~*AGAINST CHILD ABUSE *~*~* a little poem
Originally posted by: brightlightstar
Here's another one that touched me even more deeply...
Her name was Auroura, She was only five: This is what happened When she was alive. Her dad was a drunk, Her mom was an addict. Her parents kept her Locked up in an attic. Her only friend was A little toy bear. It was old and worn out, And had patches of hair. She always talked to it When no one was around. She lays there and hugs it, Not a peep of sound- Until her parents unlock the door. Some more and more pain. She'll have to endure A bruise on her leg, A scar on her face. Why would she be In such a horrible place? But she grabs her bear And softly cries; She loves her parents, But they want her to die. She sits in the corner, Quiet but thinking, God, why? Why is my life always sinking? Such a bad life For a sad little kid. She'd get beaten and beaten For anything she did. Then one night, Her mom came home high. The poor child was hit and slapped As hours went by. Then her mom suddenly Grabbed for a blade. It was sharp and pointy, One that she made. She thrusted the blade Right in her chest: "You deserve to die, You worthless pest!" The mom walked out, Leaving the girl slowly dying. She grabbed her bear And again started crying. Police showed up At the small sad house. They quickly barged in... Everything was quiet as a mouse. One officer slowly Opened a door To find the sad little girl Lying on the floor. It must have been bad To go through so much harm. But at least she died With her best friend in her arms
