LOL!!! New Name!

DON'T LAUGH UNTIL YOU
> FIND
> OUT WHAT
>> > >> > YOUR NEW NAME IS
>>
>> > >> > We all need a little stress-reliever! This only takes a
>> > >> > minute.
>>
>>
>> > >> > Please don't be a bore & ruin it. Tell everyone you know!
>> > >> > >>
>> > >> > Sometimes when you have a stressful day or week, you need
>> > >> > some
>> > >> > silliness to break up the day. If we are honest, we have a
>> > >> > lot
> more
>> > >> > stressful days than not.
>>
>>
>>
>> > >> > Here is your dose of humor...
>>
>> > >> > A. Follow the instructions to find your new name.
>>
>> > >> > B. Once you have your new name, >> > >> >
> tell
>> > >> > it to friends and family & co-workers.Get them to do it!
>>
>>
>> > >> > Don't forget to tell your name to the person who sent it to
> you so
>> > >> > they know you participated.
>>
>> > >> > And don't go all adult - a senior manager is now known
> far & wide as
>> > >> > Dorky Gizzardsniffer!
>>
>>
>> > >> > The following is excerpted from a children's book, Captain
> Underpants
>> > >> > And the Perilous Plot Professor Poopypants, by Dave Pilkey,
> in which
>> > >> > the evil Professor forces everyone to assume new names...
>>
>> > >> > So:-
>>
>> > >> > 1. Use the third letter of your first name to determine
>> > >> > your
> New first
>> > >> > name:
>>
>> > >> > a = snickle
>> > >> > b = doombah
>> > >> > c = goober
>> > >> > d = cheesey
>> > >> > e = crusty
>> > >> > f = greasy
>> > >> > g = dumbo
>> > >> > h = farcus
>> > >> > i = dorky
>> > >> > j = doofus
>> > >> > k = funky
>> > >> > l = boobie
>> > >> > m = sleezy
>> > >> > n = sloopy
>> > >> > o = fluffy
>> > >> > p = stinky
>> > >> > q = slimy
>> > >> > r = dorfus
>> > >> > s = snooty
>> > >> > t = tootsie
>> > >> > u = dipsy
>> > >> > v = sneezy
>> > >> > w = liver
>> > >> > x = skippy
>> > >> > y = blarb
>> > >> > z = zippy
>>
>> > >> > 2. Use the thrid letter of your last name to determine the first half of your new last name: >>
>> > >> > a = dippin
>> > >> > b = feather
>> > >> > c = batty
>> > >> > d = burger
>>
>> > >> > e = chicken
>> > >> >
>> > >> > f = barffy
>> > >> >
>> > >> > g = lizard
>> > >> >
>> > >> > h = waffle
>> > >> >
>> > >> > i = farkle
>> > >> >
>> > >> > j = monkey
>> > >> >
>> > >> > k = flippin
>> > >> >
>> > >> > l = fricken> >> >
>> > >> > m = bubble
>> > >> >
>> > >> > n = rhino
>> > >> >
>> > >> > o = potty
>> > >> >
>> > >> > p = hamster
>> > >> >
>> > >> > q = buckle
>> > >> >
>> > >> > r = gizzard
>> > >> >
>> > >> > s = lickin
>> > >> >
>> > >> > t = snickle
>> > >> >
>> > >> > u = chuckle
>> > >> >
>> > >> > v = pickle
>> > >> >
>> > >> > w = hubble
>> > >> >
>> > >> > x = dingle
>> > >> >
>> > >> > y = gorilla
>> > >> >
>> > >> > z = girdle
>> > >> > 3. Use the second letter of your last name to determine the
> second half
>> > >> > of your new last name:
>> > >> > a = butt
>> > >> >
>> > >> > b = boob> >> >
>> > >> > c = face
>> > >> >
>> > >> > d = nose
>> > >> >
>> > >> > e = hump
>> > >> >
>> > >> > f = breath
>> > >> >
>> > >> > g = pants
>> > >> >
>> > >> > h = shorts
>> > >> >
>> > >> > i = lips
>> > >> >
>> > >> > j = honker
>> > >> >
>> > >> > k = head
>> > >> >
>> > >> > l = tush
>> > >> >
>> > >> > m = chunks
>> > >> >
>> > >> > n = dunkin
>> > >> >
>> > >> > o = brains
>> > >> >
>> > >> > p = biscuits
>> > >> >
>> > >> > q = toes
>> > >> >
>> > >> > r = doodle
>> > >> >
>> > >> > s = This word is blocked
>> > >> >
>> > >> > t = sniffer
>> > >> & gt; ;
>> > >> > u = sprinkles
>> > >> >
>> > >> > v = frack
>> > >> > w = squirt
>> > >> > x = humperdinck
>> > >> > y = hiney
>> > >> > z = juice
>> > >> > Thus, for example, George W. Bush's new name is: Fluffy
> ChuckleThis word is blocked.
>>
>> > >> > Now when you SEND THIS ON...use your new name as the
>> > >> subject.
>> > >> > And remember that children laugh an average of 146
>> times
> a day; adults
>> > >> > laugh an average of 4 times a day.
>>
>> > >> > Put more laughter in your day.
>> > >> > Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we are
>> > >> > here
> we might
>> > >> > as well dance!

NO OFFENCE TO BLONDES~~~~~~sorry!

I knew a blonde that was so stupid that.......
> > >> >
> > >> >she thought they should call "M&Ms" "W&W"
> > >> >
> > >> >she called me to get my phone number.
> > >> >
> > >> >
> > >> >she spent 20 minutes looking at the
> > >> >orange juice box because it said "concentrate."
> > >> >
> > >> >
> > >> >she put lipstick on her forehead
> > >> >because she wanted to "make up" her mind.
> > >> >
> > >> >
> > >> >she tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order.
> > >> >
> > >> >
> ; > >> >she sent me a fax with a stamp on it.
> > >> >
> > >> >
> > >> >she tried to drown a fish.
> > >> >
> > >> >
> > > >she thought a quarterback was a refund.
> > >> >
> > >> >she got locked in a grocery store and
> > >> >starved to death.
> > >> >
> > >> >
> > >> >she tripped over a cordless phone.
> > >> >
> > >> >
> > >> >she took a ruler to the bed to see
> > >> >how long she slept.
> > >> >
> > >> >
> > &g t;> >she asked for a price check at
> > >> >the Dollar Store.
> > >> >
> > >> >
> > >> >she studied for a blood test.
> > >> >
> > >> >
> > >> >she thought Meow Mix was a CD for cats.
> > >> >
> > >> >She got hit by a parked car



> > >> >when she heard that 90% of all crimes
> > >> occur around the home,
> > >> >she moved.
> > >> >
> > >> >
> > >> >when she missed the 44 bus, she took
> > >> >the 22 bus twice instead.
> > >> >
> > >> >
> > >> >when she took you to the airport and
> > >> >saw a sign that said "Airport Left"
> > >> >she turned around and went home
> > >> >-------------------------------------------------------------
> > >> >Now send this to at least 5 people and see how many people get a laugh out of this.

LEMONS and SUGAR

LEMONS and SUGAR

This should probably be taped to your bathroom mirror
where one could read it every day.
You may not realize it, but it's 100% true.


1. There are at least two people in this world
that you would die for.


2. At least 15 people in this world
love you in some way.


3. The only reason anyone would ever hate you
is because they want to be just like you.


4. A smile from you can bring happiness to anyone,
even if they don't like you.


5. Every night, SOMEONE thinks about you
before they go to sleep.


6. You mean the world to someone.


7. You are special and unique.


8. Someone that you don't even know exists loves you.


9. When you make the biggest mistake ever,
something good comes from it.


10. When you think the world has turned its back on you
take another look.


11. Always remember the compliments you received.
Forget about the rude remarks.




So.........
If you are a loving friend,
send this to everyone,
including the one that sent it to you.
If you get it back, then they really do love you.


And always remember....
when life hands you Lemons,
ask for Sugar and call me !


Good friends are like stars.
You don't always see them,
But you know they are always there.


'Whenever one door Closes One Door Always Opens.




I would rather have one rose and a kind word
from a friend while I'm here
than a whole truckload when I'm gone.


Send this to all your friends,
And don't tell me you're too busy for this..
Don't you know the phrase
'stop and smell the flowers'?
See how many 'bou quets' you
end up with.


Happiness keeps You Sweet,
Trials keep You Strong,
Sorrows keep You Human,
Life keeps You Humble,
Success keeps You Glowing.