female comebacks - I read this and found most of them hilarious. Man: Where have you been all my life? Woman: Hiding from you. .... ... .. . Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before? Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore. . .. ... .... Man: Is this seat empty? Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down. .... ... .. . Man: Your place or mine? Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine. .... ... .. . Man: So, what do you do for a living? Woman: I'm a female impersonator. . .. ... .... Man: Hey baby, what's your sign? Woman: Do not enter. .... ... .. . Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning? Woman: Unfertilized. . .. ... .... Man: Your body is like a temple. Woman: Sorry, there are no services today .... ... .. . Man: I would go to the end of the world for you. Woman: But would you stay there? . .. ... .... Man: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy. Woman: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing. .... ... .. . Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put u and i together Woman: Really, I'd put f and u together . .. ... .... If you repost this you will get a phone call 37 minutes after you repost this.... .... ... .. . If you don't resend this then your love life will be [[doomed]] for eternity. . .. ... .... CHICKS REPOST THIS AS "female comebacks" .... ... .. . DUDES REPOST THIS AS "don't let this happen"
boy- i missed u at school today, why weren't you there? girl- yeah, i had to go to the doctor. boy- oh really? why? girl- oh nothing, annual shots, that's all. boy- oh girl- so what did we do in english today? boy- you didn't miss anything that great.......just lots of notes girl- ok good boy- yeah girl- hey i have a question...... boy- ok, ask away girl-........how much do you love me? boy- u know i love you more than anything girl- yeah..... boy- why did u ask? girl-................>silence<.......... boy- is something wrong? girl- no nothing at all boy- good. girl- ..............how much do you care about me? boy- i would give you the world in a heartbeat if i could. girl- you would? boy- yeah.........of course i would >sounding worried< is there something wrong?? girl- no, everything's fine...... boy- are u sure? girl- yeah. boy- ok.......i hope so. girl- ..............would you die for me? boy- i would take a bullet for you anyday, hun girl- really? boy- anyday. now seriously, is there something wrong??? girl- no i'm fine, ur fine, we're fine, everyone's fine. boy- ............ok girl......................well i have to go i'll see you tomorrow at school. boy- alright, bye. I LOVE YOU. girl- yeah, i love you too, bye. THAT NIGHT: -ring- -ring- -ring- girl- hello? boy- hey girl- oh, hi. boy- why weren't you at school today? girl- uh.......i had another doctor appointment. boy- are you sick? girl- ..................um i have to go, my mom's calling on my other line. boy- i'll wait. girl- it may take a while, i'll call you later. boy-........alright, i love you hun. very long pause< girl- (with tear in her eye) look, i think we should break up. boy- what??? girl- it's the best thing for us right now. boy- why???? girl- i love you. click< THE GIRL DOESNT COME TO SCHOOL FOR 3 MORE WEEKS, AND DOESNT ANSWER HER PHONE. boy- hey dude friend- hey boy- what's up friend- nothin, hey have u talked 2 ur ex lately? boy- no friend- so u didnt hear? boy- hear what? friend- um idk if i should be the one to tell u...... boy- dude, tell me friend- uh....call this number....433-555-3468 boy- ok............ BOY CALLS NUMBER AFTER SCHOOL -ring- -ring- -ring- voice- hello, suppam county hospital, this is nurse knowls. boy- uh.......i must have the wrong number, im looking for my friend. voice- what is her name, sir? (boy gives info) voice- yes, this is the right number, she is one of our patients here. boy- rele? y? what happened??? how is she??? voice- her room number is ..646, in building A, suite 3. boy- WHT HAPPENED??!!!! voice- plz come by sir and you can see her, goodbye. boy- WAIT! NO! *dial tone* BOY GOES TO HOSPITAL, AND TO ROOM ..646, BUILDING A, SUITE 3. GIRL IS LYING IN THE HOSPITAL BED. boy- omg are u ok?? girl- .................. boy- sweetie!! talk to me!! girl- i.......... boy- u what?? U WHAT??? girl- i have cancer and im on life support boy- .....................>breaks into tears<...................... girl- they're taking me off 2night boy- y?? girl- i wanted 2 tell u but i couldnt boy- y didnt u tell me???? girl- i didnt want 2 hurt u. boy- u could never hurt me girl- i just wanted 2 c if u felt bout me as the same i felt bout u. boy- ? girl- i love u more than anything, i would give u the world in a heartbeat. i would die for you and take a bullet for you. boy- ........... girl- dont be sad, i love u n ill always be here w/u boy- then y'd u break up w/me? nurse- young man, visiting hours are over. BOY LEAVES, GIRL IS TAKEN OFF LIFE SUPPORT, AND DIES. but wht the boy didn't kno is that the girl only asked him those questions so she could hear him say it one last time, and she only broke up w/him because she knew she only had 3 more weeks to live, and thought it would cause him less pain and give him time to get over her before she died. NEXT DAY the boy is found dead with a gun in his hand..with a note in the other... THE NOTE SAID:i told her i would take a bullet for her....just like she said she would die for me...
Copy, Paste, Don???t look at the bottom before you do the thing or it won???t work! This is scary but pretty accurate.
1. Which color is better red, black, green, blue or yellow? Green
2. What???s your middle initial? K
3. What month is your birthday? November
4. Which color do you like more, black or white? Black
5. Name one of your friends. Rita
6. Your favorite number? 23
7. Do you like flying or driving more? Flying
8. Do you like a lake or the ocean more? Ocean
9. Think of a wish, but don???t write it >>>>>>wishing<<<<<<<
???Answers???
1. If you chose: Red: You are alert and your life is full of love.
Black: You are conservative and aggressive.
**Green: Your soul is relaxed and you are laid back.
Blue: You are spontaneous and love kisses and affection from the ones you love and give good advice to those who are down.
Yellow - you are a very happy person..
2. If you???re initial is:
**A-K: You have a lot of love and friendships in your life.
L-R: You try to enjoy your life to the maximum & your love life is soon to blossom.
S-Z: You like to help others and your future love life looks very good.
3. If you were born in:
Jan-Mar: The year will go very well for you and you will discover that you fall in love with someone totally
April-June: You will have a strong love relationship that will last forever.
July-Sept: You will have a great year and will experience a major life- changing experience for the good.
**Oct-Dec: Your love life will be great, and eventually you will find your soul mate.
4. If you chose:
**Black: Your life will take you on a different direction, it will seem hard at times but will be the best thing for you, and you will be glad for the change.
White: You will have a friend who completely confides in you and would do anything for you, but you may not realize it.
5. This person is your best friend: Rita 6. If it is:
**1-50 you are a very lovable person and you have a great life
more than 50 is nothing
7. If you chose:
**Flying - You like adventure.
Driving - You are a laid back person.
8. If you chose:
Lake - You are loyal to your friends, your lover, and yourself. You are very reserved and not emotional.
**Ocean - You are spontaneous and like to please people sometimes.
9. This wish will come true only if you repost this with the title: Emotional test. Dont Cheat!
Pick the month you were born: January-------I kicked February------I loved March--------I kissed April----------I licked May----------I jumped on June----------I smelled July-----------I did the Macarena With August--------I had lunch with September----I danced with October-------I sang to November-----I yelled at December-----I ran over
Pick the day (number) you were born on: 1-------a birdbath 2-------a monster 3-------a phone 4-------a fork 5-------a snowman 6-------a gangster 7-------my mobile phone 8-------my dog 9-------my best friends' boyfriend 10-------my neighbor 11-------my science teacher 12-------a banana 13-------a fireman 14-------a stuffed animal 15-------a goat 16-------a pickle 17-------your mom 18-------a spoon 19------ - a smurf 20-------a baseball bat 21-------a ninja 22-------Chuck Norris 23-------a noodle 24-------a squirrel 25-------a football player 26-------my sister 27-------my brother 28-------an ipod 29-------a surfer 30-------a llama 31-------A homeless guy
Pick the color of shirt you are wearing: White---------because I'm cool like that Black---------because that's how I roll. Pink-----------because I'm crazy. Red-----------because the voices told me to. Blue-----------because I'm sexy and I do what I want Green---------because I think I need some serious help. Purple---------because I'm AWESOME! Gray----------because Big Bird said to and he's my leader. Yellow--------because someone offered me 1,000,000 dollars Orange--------because my family thinks I'm stupid anyway. Brown---------because I can.. Other----------because I'm a Ninja! None----------because I can't control myself!
My best friend in the whole world is ..... (drum roll please) howdidoodi!
