Give The Credit To Dolphinblue for writing this

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The Not-So-Helpful Help Guide
[A SATIRE]
By Dolphinblue
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Note: If you're seriously looking for help, DO NOT, follow this guide. I repeat do NOT follow this guide. For everyone else who hasn't read this, because I know someone will just skip over this, READ IT NEXT TIME. Now, for everyone else this is just in good humor and fun. No hard feelings.
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How do I earn mp?

Go to college and learn how to count. Then, take a separate class in psychology. Then, pretend like you're poor and everyone will feel sorry for you.

How do I get clothes and how do I wear them?

Act like you have them and everyone will feel sorry for you and give them to you of course! Why would you want to wear them? Sell them of course! You'll be making a good profit off that poor generous soul. You'd never think of going to your inventory and using them, of course. No. That's too difficult.

How do I get eggs?

Well, when a mommy bird and a daddy bird love each other very much...

They purchase them from the Ol' Stork in Ziranek.

How do I change the way my font looks?

Turn your head to the left and look ???here???. All done.

Can you join my club? Can anyone?

Only if you join -my- club.

What are MP?

They stand for 'MY POINTS'.

What are BP?

They stand for 'BAD POINTS'.

What are RP?

They stand for 'RUBBISH POINTS'.

How do I get my pets different colours?

Green~ Sicken them with food. Yes, food. Too much food.
White~ Yell at the screen, they should frighten easily.
Yellow~ Erm... Tell them to hold it in.
Red~ Taunt them, make fun of them. That should get them into a fit.
Blue~ Throw ice cubes around them.
Black~ Smoke 'em and smoke 'em good.
Pink~ Compliment them, make them swoon. Make 'em blush.
Orange~ Feed them carrots.

Where do you get minipets?

Find a pair of pets and meet them at the nursery.

How do my pets gain Charisma?

Tell them they need to join a club or get social.

How do my pets gain Magic?

Sign them up at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.

> > a girl went to a party and
> >>> >
> >>> >she ended up staying longer than
> >>> >
> >>> >planned,
> >>> >
> >>> >and
> >>> >
> >>> >had to walk home alone. She wasn't
> >>> >
> >>> >afraid
> >>> >
> >>> >because it was a small town and she lived
> >>> >
> >>> >only
> >>> >
> >>> >a
> >>> >
> >>> >few blocks away.
> >>> >
> >>> >
> >>> >
> >>> >As she walked along under the tall elm
> >>> >
> >>> >trees,
> >>> >
> >>> >Diane asked God to keep her safe from
> >>> >
> >>> >harm
> >>> >
> >>> >and
> >>> >
> >>> >danger.
> >>> >
> >>> >
> >>> >
> >>> >When she reached the alley, which was a
> >>> >
> >>> >short
> >>> >
> >>> >cut to her house, she
> >>>decided to take it.
> >>> >
> >>> >
> >>> >
> >>> >However, halfway down the alley she
> >>> >
> >>> >noticed
> >>> >
> >>> >a
> >>> >
> >>> >man standing at the end as though he
> >>> >
> >>> >were
> >>> >
> >>> >waiting
> >>> >
> >>> >for her.
> >>> >
> >>> >
> >>> >
> >>> >She became uneasy and began to pray,
> >>> >
> >>> >asking
> >>> >
> >>> >for
> >>> >
> >>> >God's protection.
> >>> >
> >>> >
> >>> >
> >>>

1) If for 1 day you were invisible, what would you do?

a) go to the newsagents and eat all the chocolate and sweets.
b) find a bank and steal every penny
c) go to school and fit in some revision
d) fly around the world making peace
e) take some cool clothes from the charity shop

2) In a room there is, 10000MP, a man held at gunpoint, a straw hat and a years supply of food. what do you do?

a) take the chocolate and run
b) take the money and run
c) freeze and wipe your glasses
d)save the man but get shot yourself
e) take the straw hat but feel bad after.

3) what is your favourite colour?

a) brown
b) green and white
c) your school uniform colour
d) white
e) don't really care.

if you answered mostly A you are a chocolate chibs.
if you answered mostly b you are a millionaire chibs.
if you answered mostly c you are a school chibs.
if you answered mostly d you are an angel chibs.
if you answered mostly e you are a hobo chibs.
if you answered randomly, then just go for a phanty. POST THIS QUIZ IF YOU TRIED IT.