female comebacks - I read this and found some of them funny.

Man: Where have you been all my life?
Woman: Hiding from you.
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Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.
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Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.
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Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.
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Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator.
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Man: Hey baby, what's your sign?
Woman: Do not enter.
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Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilized.
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Man: Your body is like a temple.
Woman: Sorry, there are no services today
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Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: But would you stay there?
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Man: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
Woman: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.
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Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put u and i together
Woman: Really, I'd put f and u together
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If you repost this you will get a phone call 37 minutes after you repost
this....
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If you don't resend this then your love life will be [[doomed]] for eternity.
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CHICKS REPOST THIS AS "female comebacks"
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DUDES REPOST THIS AS "don't let this happen

a very sad love story



boy- i missed u at school 2day, y weren't u there?

girl- yeah, i had to go to the doctor.

boy- oh realy? y?

girl- oh nothin, annual shots, thats all.

boy- oh

girl- so wht did we do in math 2day?

boy- u didnt miss ne thing that great.......just lots of notes

girl- ok good

boy- yeah

girl- hey i have a question......

boy- ok, ask away

girl-........how much do u love me?

boy- u kno i love u more than anything

girl- yeah.....

boy- y did u ask?

girl-................>silence<..........

boy- is something wrong?

girl- no nothing at all

boy- good.

girl- ..............how much do u care about me?

boy- i would give u the world in a heartbeat if i could.

girl- u would?

boy- yeah.........of course i would >sounding worried< is there something wrong??

girl- no, everythings fine......

boy- are u sure?

girl- yeah.

boy- ok.......i hope so.

girl- ..............would u die for me?

boy- i would take a bullet for u anyday, hun

girl- realy?

boy- anyday. now seriously, is there something wrong???

girl- no im fine, ur fine, we're fine, everyones fine.

boy- ............ok

girl-......................well i have to go ill c u 2morrow at school.

boy- alright, bye. I LOVE YOU.

girl- yeah, i love u 2, bye.

THE NEXT DAY AT SCHOOL:

boy- hey, have u seen my g/f 2day?

friend- no

boy- oh.

friend- she wasnt here yesterday either.

boy- i know, she was acting all wierd on the phone last nite.

friend- well dude u kno how gurls are sumtimes

boy- yeah........but not her.

friend- idk wht else 2 say, man.

boy- k well i gotta get 2 english, ill c ya after school.

friend- yeah i gotta get to science, ttyl.

THAT NIGHT:

-ring-
-ring-
-ring-
-ring-
girl- hello?

boy- hey

girl- oh, hi.

boy- y weren't u at school 2day?

girl- uh.......i had another doctor appointment.

boy- are u sick?

girl- ..................um i have 2 go, my mom's callin on my othe

A real Boyfriend


this is a real boyfriend!

A Real Boyfriend

When she stare's at your mouth

[ Kiss her ]



When she pushes you or hit's you

[ Grab her and dont let go ]



When she start's cursing at you

[ Kiss her and tell her you love her ]



When she's quiet

[ Ask her whats wrong ]



When she ignore's you

[ Give her your attention ]



When she pull's away

[ Pull her back ]



When you see her at her worst

[ Tell her she's beautiful ]



When you see her start crying

[Just hold her and dont say a word ]



When you see her walking

[ Sneak up and hug her waist from behind ]



When she's scared

[ Protect her ]



When she lay's her head on your shoulder

[ Tilt her head up and kiss her ]



When she steal's your favorite hat

[ Let her keep it and sleep with it for a night]



When she tease's you

[ Tease her back and make her laugh ]



When she doesnt answer for a long time

[ reassure her that everything is okay ]



When she look's at you with doubt

[ Back yourself up ]



When she say's that she like's you

[ she really does more than you could understand ]



When she grab's at your hands

[ Hold her's and play with her fingers ]



When she bump's into you

[ bump into her back and make her laugh ]



When she tell's you a secret

[ keep it safe and untold ]



When she looks at you in your eyes

[ dont look away until she does ]



When she misses you

[ she's hurting inside ]



When you break her heart

[ the pain never really goes away ]



When she says its over

[ she still wants you to be hers ]



When she repost this bulletin

[ she wants you to read it ]







- Stay on the phone with her even if shes not saying anything.



- When she's m