The Story of the Taco Elf

Today
I???m Thomas, the Taco Elf. I am currently living in the South Pole, and I hate it here. I can never go back. I was exiled here by Santa Claus himself. He was the one who sent me to the forest, and it was blamed on me when I returned. I wasn???t always known as the Taco Elf. I???m about to tell you why this happened and why I was exiled here.


The Past
I???m sitting making a complex racecar when all of the sudden Victoria bursts in and says ???It???s time for your break!???. I go to my cubicle, get my break snack, eat it, and got back to work. I finish the racecar when I get back and proceed to make some toy horses (ugh My Little Pony, kids these days pshh) and dolls. When the day is almost over I see a curious request, a taco. I have heard of Tacos before but it was an odd request. Still, I go to the bakery and conjure up what I can. I made quite a masterpiece if I do say so myself. I go back to the toy making room; I wrap it and send it on its way to the preserving and the distributing department. Today was a fine first day.

Months pass, and people always think that I am just a Taco Elf, but I???ve never even tried one. I have only made one taco in my lifetime.

One day, I receive the letter of achievement/exceptionality/greatness/failure. I open it and see I???m summoned to Victoria???s office. Victoria is the lead elf of our millennium and she is the chief of both the toy making and the preserving and distributing department. ???I???m getting fired,??? I think, ???it is probably because of the work I did on that fairy doll back there.??? I go to her office hoping it was just an infraction, but when I get there I see Santa himself. I know now that I???m doomed; Santa only comes down here when elves do terrible in their fields of work. ???The doll wasn???t bad enough to be humiliated in front of Santa was it???? I think.
???Thomas, you do know why you???re here I am correct???? Santa says,
I nod my head as he hands me an official looking piece of paper. ???This is it??? I think, ???I really loved working with Santa??????, but when I open it I see I???ve been promoted to the head of T17, my toy making unit. I faint.

The next day, I go to the toy making department to find I have a new office. I???m told I am the head of T17, the biggest and most important unit. I walk to my new office to find a normal looking office in the window. I open the door and step in; it is perhaps the greatest office I have seen in the history of offices (well besides Victoria???s and Santa???s). The same paperwork Santa tried to give me appears. I sign it, and it is whisked away to Santa???s office. I sit back in my office chair, and wonder how I have this job as Victoria walks in.
???How is your office???? Victoria asks,
???Great, just got my paperwork done?????? I reply,
???Great,??? she says as a chair appears under her as she sits down, ???Close the door, because I???m only saying this once.???
Twelve hours later, I know my job inside out, and everything makes sense. The two things that seem odd to me are: I have to report to department meetings, and I carry out tasks based on Victoria???s ??? or Santa???s ??? request. Before leaving, she wishes me good luck.
I look at the time, the shift ended hours ago. I have to get sleep.

The day after, I oversee production of T17. Things run fine, and everything is great. The day after is the same, and as the years pass, everything is fine. I attend department meetings and do bits and bobs for Victoria and Santa. I am promoted to head of the toy making unit, and get a fancy new office next to Victoria???s.
On another normal day I go to Victoria???s office, finding Santa.
???Mr. Claus, always a pleasure.??? I say
???Hello Thomas, I was looking for Victoria, but you will do???,??? Santa explains, ???I have an assignment for you.???
Something seemed off about Santa today, but I didn???t question him. Christmas in two months, he???s always hurried.
???What can I do for you???? I ask
He explains to me what is going to happen; I am going to the Candycane Forest to extract pure sugarplum sugar from some sugarplums??? and they also happen to be in the center of the forest. ???Ugh!??? I think, ???how boring!???
I was wrong.
My trek into the forest is nothing special at first, I???ve been into the Candycane Forest few times and I didn???t think it was going to be much of a big deal. The first day and the second were plain. The third was where the fun began???

I???m walking and looking at my map when I hear a scream. The scream of who I cannot say, but I run in search of who is in danger. As I???m running I see an elf I recognize, Vivian, she tends to the Reindeer.
???Vivian! What are you doing two and a half days from home???? I ask frantically.
???I was on the task for Tyson!??? she proclaims, ???I was in search of the Plumberry Berry. I got lost, and when I found the path my eyes went dark. I woke up screaming!???
???That???s awful!??? I say, ???We must travel together, as sugarplums and plumberries are both at the center. There must be something strange in the forest.???
We travel deeper into the forest together, and as the day goes on the more suspicious I am of this forest. I notice strange signs of things, but keep them to myself not wanting to worry Vivian. I see dead sugar foxes and charred candycane stumps. These are signs of evil.

As we search for a path, we are attacked! We are surrounded by Licorice Wolves (Large black wolves with licorice for fur). The pack surrounds us and we are forced to fight back. I take a gingerbread sword I brought with me and Vivian takes out an awesome Never Melt Icicle Bow and Arrow. We battle the wolves, helping each other. We defeat them without a scratch.

We continue walking when a detail enters my mind; there have never been wolves in these parts nearer to the center.
???This could be a more important task than I thought.??? I think, ???Santa did primarily want Victoria. He must have been in a rush to get the sugarplum sugar fast.???
I walk at a brisk pace after this possible revelation; we are being watched or followed. We stop for the night a day???s journey from the center of the forest where the sugarplums and the plumberries are.

The night brought nothing new, we slept. Vivian was oblivious to the possible danger.
We wake up and continue our journey. By midday we are close, but the sky is almost dark. We are a quarter of a mile away when we hear it, a large crackling noise.
???That sounds like a factory!??? Vivian exclaims.
???It can???t be all the way out here.??? I say
We get a closer look, and sneak inside. Inside we find not a factory, but a hallway with doors leading off to the side.
???I am confused,??? Vivian says, ???This factory looks so massive!???
???It must be enchanted,??? I say, ???Victoria did this to me all the time.???
We look into a door and I see the last thing I would ever expect, Victoria.

She is tied to a chair. This shocks me into a state of panic until Vivian knocks sense into me.
???Victoria! What happened? Are you alright???? I ask hurriedly.
???Yes, I???m amazing thanks Thomas. Does it look like I???m alright????
She looks rough; she???s beaten up with some scratches and such but nothing too serious.
She tells how she was taken from her office, and brought there for bait to lure in Santa.
???We???ve got to get out of here!??? I say, ???But first, does sugarplum sugar mean anything to you????
???Did Santa ask you to get that???? Victoria asks worried.
???Yes??? why???? I wonder.
???We need that immediately. The North Pole is under attack.???

Victoria, Vivian, and I rush back to the North Pole without incident, but we are too late. When we arrive, most of North Pole is in ruins.
???What did Santa need the sugarplum sugar for???? I ask
???Whenever he needs to defend the North Pole, he has me get it for him.???
???The situation must have been dire if he had me get it.???
???I know, and we are too late. You need t??? Santa is over there!???
We run to Santa, but before I can even make sure he is okay he says to me:
???Stop???
???What is it???? Victoria and I ask together.
???This is your fault Thomas??? he claims.
Before I can explain myself he asks me:
???What was the last gift you made on the first day of toy making???? he asks.
I immediately know what will happen next when I say, ???A Taco???.
He starts chanting words I cannot understand and he then says: ???You will be known for eternity as the Taco Elf!???
???This is it??? I think, ???goodbye North Pole.???
This is how Santa Exiles elves.
Victoria tearfully looks at me and says, ???Goodbye, old friend.???
I am whisked away into a vortex.
I arrive at the South Pole, forever known as the Taco Elf.