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Kristen12344 2 Comments

A book I am writing here is the first 4 chapters

14 years, 6 months & 25 days ago

22nd Dec 2011 10:06

More coming soon~

The Death Toll Chronicles Book One: The Past

Chapter One: The Beginning?? Date: May 14th, 1896
??
Emiliee sighed as she looked up at the moon "Tis a

beautiful night Alisha?" Alisha meowed then looked at

Emiliee with her bright green eyes.?? Emiliee picked her cat

up "Let's go home..." On her way home she felt kind of

dizzy and sat down "Why am I so dizzy?" Emiliee thought.??

Alisha then stood up on her two hind legs and morphed into

a woman with black hair in a white dress.?? "On the twelfth

of the bell toll the spell shall be lifted on me and go to

you for three thousand years!" Laughed the witch. The

church bell started to toll and slowly Emiliee began to

change.?? Freaked out she looked down and saw a weird

symbol.?? All Emiliee could hear was the weird witch mumble

a weird language then blacked out.?? The next morning

Emiliee woke up at her house and felt hungry and

exhausted.?? She went down stairs grabbed some milk then

started chugging it out of the glass container.?? Day by day

Emiliee began to change more, she would purr when she was

content then having patches of fur all over her, with an

occasional meow here and there.?? Twelve days past and

Emiliee was no longer human she had turned completely

feline.?? "Wha....What happened to me?" Emiliee thought

starring at a stream of fish as soon as one went by she

pawed at it and began to eat the raw flopping fish.?? The

soon set and the moon was full and bright Emiliee turned

human a hunter near by saw her "WITCH!! A WITCH!!" He cried

in alarm and Emiliee was then shot by a arrow piercing her

heart by the hunter.?? Emiliee looked at him "Please tell my

daughters not to mourn for me they are safe from all evil.??

With an evil laugh the Witch came to Emiliee "Your

daughters will have the curse of the Death Toll and may

they die a slow and painful death!!" Emiliee passed away on

August 30th 1898.
??
Chapter 2: Unexpected Visitor August 30th, 2009
??
"MAN! I CAN'T SLEEP!" Riven said angrily as she sat up in

bed pushing her dark burgundy hair out of her eyes.?? "I

wonder what time it is." she thought leaning over to glance

at the clock. "FOUR O CLOCK!?" She screamed "Two more hours

and I have school!!" Riven face planted in her pillow with

a heavy sigh then came a knock downstairs.?? "Who could that

be at this hour..?" Riven walked down stairs in her robe

and opened the door and nothing there.?? Riven rolled her

eyes and started to walk back up stairs then a knock came

again tired of this game she opened the door once again and

nothing.?? Just as she shut the door a cold hand grabbed her

and she started screaming.?? Her dad laughed "I got you!"

smiling down at his little girl. "DAD!! Don't do that!" She

ran upstairs and slammed the door. Very tired it was time

for school and Riven slothed her way outside and waited for

the bus. She looked up and saw her best friend Adam Shank

walking out he saw her waved then headed towards her.??

"Poor Adam..... He's the laughing stock of the whole

school! Even though hes dating the most popular and

gorgeous girl in the whole school. But sadly people still

laugh at him" Riven thought.?? The bus came and Adam

generously let Riven in first since it was Adam is a

gentlemen and believes all girls should go first.?? Riven

saw her best friend Leehas head slumped down into her note

book and soft sobbing, "what happened Leeha? Why are you

crying?" Riven asked curiously.?? "Oh! Riven!! Someone came

to my house and an old lady grabbed me and said something

about a curse! then she just disappeared in front of my

eyes! It was so scary Riven!" Leeha burst into tears even

more. "Who was it!?" Riven asked scared "I....I....I don't

know I never seen her before!"
??
Chapter 3: Leeha's Gone!?? September 2, 2009

Riven was sitting next to Leeha, just three days ago no one

knew that it was going to happened.?? It was all over the

news, papers, and school. Leeha was surely gone, kidnapped

people believe but Riven thinks something worse had

happened.?? Riven could not sleep she was sick to her

stomach which made her toss and turn all night remembering

about what Leeha said about the mysterious woman at her

door.?? The next morning Riven got a phone call from Adam he

was crying then he took a deep breath "Riven......They

found Leeha.....She's dead!! A woman found her, near the

creek the one where we used to play, until they closed it

down due to many kids drowning.?? She drowned Riven... Shes

gone..."?? Riven dropped the phone in shock and her eyes

began to tear up then collapsed and cried for her best

friend.?? Riven could hear Adam on the other end of the

phone yelling for her but Riven couldn't answer she was

just crying to hard. A few days later Riven looked over the

casket which held her best friend. Her soft rosy cheeks now

pale her long luscious red hair turning white, and her

beautiful green eyes with no color.?? Riven cried but knew

her friend was in a better place she felt Adam hug her

tightly and helped her to her seat.?? After the funeral Adam

and Riven looked down at the grave stone both of them spoke

at once "Here lies Leeha Born May 5th 1994 Died: August

30th 2009. Riven and Adam sat down and had a couple of ice

cream sodas they were both still feeling sad but knew they

had each other and both agreed not to let anything happened

to one another.

Chapter 4: Resurrection May 15th, 1899??
??
"Legend tells that my mother was murdered for black magic.

I have found away to revive her but... Ineed your help

Daemeon" A black cloaked figure whispered.?? "Who are you?

From your voice you are a female?" Daemeon replied "Do not

fear me Daemeon if you help me find my mothers book I will

spare you." The mysterious woman answered.?? "My fair lady I

will help you but I do not know your name and yet you know

mine?" Daemeon asked nervously. "My name...My name? Oh

yes.. you should know my name tis Essence." Essence said

happily. "Very well Essence I will show you, your mothers

grave that is." He replied back.?? It was a cold winter and

hard to travel the snow was so deep that it was just over

the ankles.?? Five days pass and they came to a stop and

looked up at a huge tomb with a large seal on the door.

"This is it." Daemeon said. Essence poked at the tombs door

"Well? How do ye open thus?" she asked. "Use the black

magic, speak the words of the Death Toll curse." Daemeon

answered. Just as Essence was about to speak she heard a

yell from the distance. "Well if it isn't my twin sister

Celestial how are you today?" Essence snapped. "Essence you

can't open that tomb you and I both know what will happened

if you do it wil-"?? "ENOUGH!" Essence angrily interrupted

"I will open that tomb I will get the book mother used! I

will show all of Jamestown that mother is back and came to

smite them all for making her suffer! Even if I have to

kill you to get it!" Essence yelled. "No! I won't let you

resurrect mother!" Celestial screamed. Celestial grabbed

her pig tail which soon morphed into a gold bow with a

lightning arrow and shot it at Essence missing by a few

inches the arrow hit the tomb door and pulled Celestial in.

Celestial woke up in a pitch black room with nothing there

she tried to have her eyes adjust but they just wouldn't.??

Her long blond hair now covered with dirt made it look

gross. "Hello!!" she called "Someone help me!" Just then a

dark figure moved around in the shadows with a arrow in her

heart came to her. "Why... My daughter Celestial however

did you get in here?"?? "mo...mom?!" Celestials eyes widen

then she collapsed and passed out once again. Days went by

and Celestial woke up next to a warm fire and a young man

cooking some bacon "Hiya! Want some bacon? My names Derek

whats yours? I found you passed out and you looked cold."

Derek smiled as he asked.??"Celes....Celestial" she answered

tiredly "Cute name.." He told her. They ate dinner and

Celestial told him everything about her twin sister Essence

and how she wanted to enslave mankind he listened carefully

then agreed to help her but that changed when the tomb was

open and there was nothing there.?? It had happened Emiliee

was alive again to avenge her death all across Jamestown.

Kristen12344

Thanks I know im still working on it I was reading R.L. Stine then I got the idea for this book ^-^ yeah i know i need to fix it but i'll edit it when i get a chance

14 years, 6 months & 25 days ago

22nd Dec 2011 11:52

The use of imagry in the beginning is poor:thus, your plot line is jumbled and hard to understand. The switch in between the chapters need a better flow because it is hard to change from past to present tence, i know trust me, but other than those mistakes I personally thought the book was supurb and enjoyable to read. Thank you