V i n D i e s e l

*Vin Diesel's favorite food is macaroni and cheese. His favorite drink is orphan's blood.

*Sooner or later, Vin Diesel will run out of people to fight. At this point he will have to fight himself. We call this the apocalypse.

*Vin Diesel once spun a dreidel so fast it he created a portal to another dimension.

*Vin Diesel shares his bed with 12 puppies that he has trained to lick his face when he needs to wake up in the morning, in place of an alarm clock.

*A lot of people find the word
midget to be offensive; Vin Diesel doesn't care what you call them as long as they are not over-cooked and come with a side of cole slaw.

*Vin Diesel eats his weight in Tom Cruise every morning.

*Vin Diesel loves saunas. In fact, Vin has one in his very own house which he uses every day. It's called his fireplace.

*Vin Diesel knows over 10,000 ways to molest a panda.

*When Vin Diesel recently underwent surgery to remove an obstructed liver, surgeons were surprised to find a smaller Vin Diesel inside him.

*In modern society, the act of consuming children is called
"unforgivable" and "deranged". Vin Diesel calls it "breakfast".

*If one pulls really hard on Vin Diesel's left arm, his eyes begin rolling really quickly and he has a 50% chance of vomiting assorted coins. He hates it when people do this to him.

*Vin Diesel is a Pisces who enjoys long walks on the beach, sunsets, and turning kittens inside-out.

*Vin Diesel Once ate seven orangutans after losing a game of Go Fish to Jesus.

*Vin Diesel lives in a castle that he built by hand using bricks made of the compressed souls of the damned.

*Vin Diesel tried to start a business where he would recharge batteries simply by gripping them in his hands.

*Vin Diesel's mother used to pack him TWO Lunchables.

*The free toys inside cereal boxes were all hand-made by Vin Diesel as a gift to the children. He sometimes puts live hand grenades in the cereal boxes to teach children "self defense".

*Vin Diesel was about to destroy all of N*Sync, but stopped because he doesn't hurt women.

*In 1972, Vin Diesel was sent to prison by a military court for a crime he didn't commit. He promptly escaped from a maximum security stockade, killed all the guards, burned that fcker down and made a treefort out of human skulls.

*While the telephone was actually invented by Vin Diesel, he traded the bragging rights and patent to Alexander G. Bell after losing a bet with him over who could drink the most molasses in five minutes.

*When filming his latest movie, Vin Diesel was overheard whispering to a crew member about his ongoing obsession with My Little Pony.

*Vin Diesel's daily diet includes 200 grams of lard and 3 turkey's eggs, lightly scrambled. He washes this down with two gallons of chicken-fat from the local KFC.

*Vin Diesel single-handedly broadcasts much of Central America's television from his mind.

*Vin Diesel once tried to shoot himself in the head, but the bullet bounced off of him and hit John F. Kennedy by accident.

*The fight scene between Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee near the end of "Return of the Dragon" required 58 takes because Chuck Norris kept accidentally beating Bruce Lee. Finally after shooting the scene 57 times, a stunt double had to be brought in to replace Chuck Norris. This stunt double was, of course, a young Vin Diesel.