"Female Comebacks"

female comebacks

Female comebacks

Female ComeBacks


female comebacks - I read this and found some of them funny.

Man: Where have you been all my life?
Woman: Hiding from you.
....
...
..
.
Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.
.
..
...
....
Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.
....
...
..
.
Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.
....
...
..
.
Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator.
.
..
...
....
Man: Hey baby, what's your sign?
Woman: Do not enter.
....
...
..
.
Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilized.
.
..
...
....
Man: Your body is like a temple.
Woman: Sorry, there are no services today
....
...
..
.
Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: But would you stay there?
.
..
...
....
Man: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
Woman: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.
....
...
..
.
Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put u and i together
Woman: Really, I'd put f and u together
.
..
...
....
If you repost this you will get a phone call 37 minutes after you repost
this....
....
...
..
.
If you don't resend this then your love life will be [[doomed]] for eternity.
.
..
...
....
CHICKS REPOST THIS AS "female comebacks"
....
...
..
.
DUDES REPOST THIS AS "don't let this happen"

WRITTEN BY A GUY

We don't care if you talk to other guys.
We don't care if you're friends with other guys.
But when you're sitting next to us, and some random guy walks into the room and you jump up and tackle him, without even introducing us, yeah, it makes us angry.
It doesn't help if you sit there and talk to him for ten minutes without even acknowledging the fact that we're still there.

We don't care if a guy calls >OR TEXTS< you, but at 2 in the morning we do get a little concerned.
Nothing is that important at 2 A.M. that it can't wait
till the morning.

Also, when we tell you you're pretty/ beautiful/ gorgeous/
cute/ stunning, we freaking mean it.
Don't tell us we're wrong.
We'll stop trying to convince you.
The sexiest thing about a girl is confidence.
Yeah, you can quote me.

Don't be mad when we hold the door open. Take Advantage of the mood I'm in.

Let us pay for you!
Dont 'feel bad'
We enjoy doing it.
It's expected.
Smile and say 'thank you.'

Kiss us when no one's watching.
If you kiss us when you know somebody's looking, we'll be more impressed.

You don't have to get dressed up for us.
If we're going out with you in the first place, you don't have to feel the need to wear the shortest skirt you have or put on every kind of makeup you own.
We like you for who you are and not what you are. Honestly, I think a girl looks more beautiful when she's just in her pj's. Or my t-shirt and boxers, not all dolled up.

Don't take everything we say seriously.
Sarcasm is a beautiful thing. See the beauty in it.

Don't get angry easily.

Stop using magazines/media as your bible.
Don't talk about how hot Chris Brown, Brad Pitt, or Jesse McCartney is in front of us.
It's boring, and we don't care. You have girlfriends for that.

Whatever happened to the word 'handsome'/'beautiful'?
I'd be utterly stunned by a girl who greeted me with, 'Hey handsome!' instead of 'Hey baby/ stud/ cutie/ sexy' or whatever else you can think of.
On the other hand I'm not sayin I woulndn't like it either .

Girls, I cannot stress this enough: if you aren't being treated right by a guy, dont wait for him to change. Ditch him, disgrace to the male population and find someone who will treat you with utter respect.
Give the nice guys a chance.

Guys repost this if you agree.
Girls repost this if you think it's cute.

Every Guy who isn't a jerk will agree with this, so we hope that all the girls that read this will repost this.

*Holdin Hands
Girls : If you want to hold his hand, gently bump into it a couple of
times.
Guys : Grab it if it happens more than once.
*Cuddling
Girls : When you want to cuddle with him, tell him you're cold.
Guys : Automatically move closer to her.
*Movies
Girls : During a movie, if he puts his arm around you, tilt your head on his shoulder.
Guys : Lift her chin up and kiss her.
*Loving each other
Guys : When she tells you she loves you, look deep into her eyes, give her a peck on the lips, and tell her you love her too... And mean it.
*Laying below the stars
Girls : When you're both laying under the stars, put your head on his chest and close your eyes as you listen to his steady heart beat.
Guys : Whisper in her ear and link your hands with hers.


By 12 A.M. tonight your one true love will realize how much they want you.

Girls repost as: Written by a guy
Guys post as: Girls need to realize


??o wich will you do???? ???

41 ways to annoy your parents!!!

THIS IS 41 WAYS TO ANNOY YOUR PARENTS!! :
1.follow them around the house everywhere.

2. Moo when they say your name.

3. Pretend to have amnesia.

4. Say everything backwards.

5. Run into walls.

6. Say that wearing clothes is against your religion.

7. Go into their room at 4 in the morning and say "Good Morning Sunshine!"

8. Snort loudly when you laugh and then laugh harder.

9. Say all of the words in a film.

10. Pluck someone's hair out and yell "DNA!!!"

11. Wear a sticker that says "I'm a retard!"

12. Talk to a pen.

13. Have 20 imaginary friends that you talk to ALL the time.

14. Try and climb the wall.

15. In public yell "NO MUM I WILL NOT clip ur toenails"

16. Put pegs on your nose and eyes.

17. Switch the light button on and off for awhile. Then say "Oh...I get it!"

18. Eat your hair.

19. Hold their hand and whisper to them "I see dead people."

20. When you shower or bath yell "I'm drowning!!!!"

21. At everything they say yell "LIAR!!"

22. Pretend to be a phone.

23. Try to swim in the floor.

24. Tap on their door all night.

25. When they say a word from a song you know...burst into that song.

26. Look through magazines and shout loudly "BRITTANY IS MARRIED TO A CAVE MAN!" and other random things.

27. Take all of the toilet paper from the bathroom and try to sell it to your parents!

28. Pass out bananas

29. Ask how much is 1 Hershey's kiss

30. Skip down the aisles singing "I've been working on the railroad......"

31. Hand out missing person fliers of yourself

32. Say "thats hot!" after EVERY thing you say.

33. Camp out in the frozen food section.

34.Ask someone where the cereal is when you're standing right next to it.

35. Give random old people your number

36. Go around asking people if their mother knows what they're doing.

37. Go up to someone and tell them their face is funny and run away.

38. Yell mango

39. Stand in front of a store, not letting anyone in

40. Call yourself nicknames like tree and nerd and hoppy

41. Say their name until they answer you and say "Hi!" and run off