female comebacks - I read this and found some of them funny.
Man: Where have you been all my life? Woman: Hiding from you. .... ... .. . Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before? Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore. . .. ... .... Man: Is this seat empty? Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down. .... ... .. . Man: Your place or mine? Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine. .... ... .. . Man: So, what do you do for a living? Woman: I'm a female impersonator. . .. ... .... Man: Hey baby, what's your sign? Woman: Do not enter. .... ... .. . Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning? Woman: Unfertilized. . .. ... .... Man: Your body is like a temple. Woman: Sorry, there are no services today .... ... .. . Man: I would go to the end of the world for you. Woman: But would you stay there? . .. ... .... Man: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy. Woman: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing. .... ... .. . Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put u and i together Woman: Really, I'd put f and u together . .. ... .... If you repost this you will get a phone call 37 minutes after you repost this.... .... ... .. . If you don't resend this then your love life will be [[doomed]] for eternity. . .. ... .... CHICKS REPOST THIS AS "female comebacks" .... ... .. . DUDES REPOST THIS AS "don't let this happen
My name is Becky I am but three, My eyes are swollen I cannot see, I must be stupid I must be bad, What else could have made My daddy so mad? I wish I were better I wish I weren't ugly, Then maybe my mommy Would still want to hug me. I can't speak at all I can't do a wrong Or else I'm locked up All the day long. When I awake I'm all alone The house is dark My folks aren't home When my mommy does come I'll try and be nice, So maybe I'll get just One whipping tonight. Don't make a sound! I just heard a car My daddy is back From Charlie's Bar. I hear him curse My name he calls I press myself Against the wall I try and hide From his evil eyes I'm so afraid now I'm starting to cry He finds me weeping He shouts ugly words, He says its my fault That he suffers at work. He slaps me and hits me And yells at me more, I finally get free And I run for the door. He's already locked it And I start to bawl, He takes me and throws me Against the hard wall. I fall to the floor With my bones nearly broken, And my daddy continues With more bad words spoken. "I'm sorry!", I scream But its now much too late His face has been twisted Into unimaginable hate The hurt and the pain Again and again Oh please God, have mercy! Oh please let it end! And he finally stops And heads for the door, While I lay there motionless Sprawled on the floor
My name is Becky And I am but three, Tonight my daddy Murdered me.
There are thousands of kids out there just like Becky. And you can help.
Sickens me to my soul, and if you just read this and don't pass it on I pray for your forgiveness, cause you would have to be one heartless person to not be effected by this story. And because you are effected, do something about it!! So all I am asking you to do, is take some time to send this on and acknowledge that this stuff does happen, and that people like her dad do live in our society, and I pray for child abuse to wither out and die, but also pray for the safety of our youth.
Please pass this poem on because as crazy as it might sound, it might just indirectly change a life. Hey, you NEVER know. Please put this on your site if you are *~*~*AGAINST CHILD ABUSE *~*~* a little poem
boy- i missed u at school 2day, y weren't u there?
girl- yeah, i had to go to the doctor.
boy- oh realy? y?
girl- oh nothin, annual shots, thats all.
boy- oh
girl- so wht did we do in math 2day?
boy- u didnt miss ne thing that great.......just lots of notes
girl- ok good
boy- yeah
girl- hey i have a question......
boy- ok, ask away
girl-........how much do u love me?
boy- u kno i love u more than anything
girl- yeah.....
boy- y did u ask?
girl-................>silence<..........
boy- is something wrong?
girl- no nothing at all
boy- good.
girl- ..............how much do u care about me?
boy- i would give u the world in a heartbeat if i could.
girl- u would?
boy- yeah.........of course i would >sounding worried< is there something wrong??
girl- no, everythings fine......
boy- are u sure?
girl- yeah.
boy- ok.......i hope so.
girl- ..............would u die for me?
boy- i would take a bullet for u anyday, hun
girl- realy?
boy- anyday. now seriously, is there something wrong???
girl- no im fine, ur fine, we're fine, everyones fine.
boy- ............ok
girl-......................well i have to go ill c u 2morrow at school.
boy- alright, bye. I LOVE YOU.
girl- yeah, i love u 2, bye.
THE NEXT DAY AT SCHOOL:
boy- hey, have u seen my g/f 2day?
friend- no
boy- oh.
friend- she wasnt here yesterday either.
boy- i know, she was acting all wierd on the phone last nite.
friend- well dude u kno how gurls are sumtimes
boy- yeah........but not her.
friend- idk wht else 2 say, man.
boy- k well i gotta get 2 english, ill c ya after school.
friend- yeah i gotta get to science, ttyl.
THAT NIGHT:
-ring- -ring- -ring- -ring- girl- hello?
boy- hey
girl- oh, hi.
boy- y weren't u at school 2day?
girl- uh.......i had another doctor appointment.
boy- are u sick?
girl- ..................um i have 2 go, my mom's callin on my other line.
boy- ill wait.
girl- it may take a while, ill call u later.
boy-........alright, i love u hun.
very long pause<
girl- (with tear in her eye) look, i think we should break up.
boy- what???
girl- its the best thing for us right now.
boy- y????
girl- i love u. click<
THE GIRL DOESNT COME TO SCHOOL FOR 3 MORE WEEKS, AND DOESNT ANSWER HER PHONE.
boy- hey dude
friend- hey
boy- whats up
friend- nothin, hey have u talked 2 ur ex lately?
boy- no
friend- so u didnt hear?
boy- hear what?
friend- um idk if i should be the one to tell u......
boy- dude, tell me
friend- uh....call this number....433-555-3468
boy- ok............
BOY CALLS NUMBER AFTER SCHOOL
-ring- -ring- -ring- voice- hello, suppam county hospital, this is nurse beckam.
boy- uh.......i must have the wrong number, im looking for my friend.
voice- what is her name, sir? (boy gives info)
voice- yes, this is the right number, she is one of our patients here.
boy- rele? y? what happened??? how is she???
voice- her room number is ..646, in building A, suite 3.
boy- WHT HAPPENED??!!!!
voice- plz come by sir and you can see her, goodbye.
boy- WAIT! NO! *dial tone*
BOY GOES TO HOSPITAL, AND TO ROOM ..646, BUILDING A, SUITE 3. GIRL IS LYING IN THE HOSPITAL BED.
boy- omg are u ok??
girl- ..................
boy- sweetie!! talk to me!!
girl- i..........
boy- u what?? U WHAT???
girl- i have cancer and im on life support
boy- .....................>breaks into tears<......................
girl- they're taking me off 2night
boy- y??
girl- i wanted 2 tell u but i couldnt
boy- y didnt u tell me????
girl- i didnt want 2 hurt u.
boy- u could never hurt me
girl- i just wanted 2 c if u felt bout me as the same i felt bout u.
boy- ?
girl- i love u more than anything, i would give u the world in a heartbeat. i would die for you and take a bullet for you.
boy- ...........
girl- dont be sad, i love u n ill always be here w/u
boy- then y'd u break up w/me?
nurse- young man, visiting hours are over.
BOY LEAVES, GIRL IS TAKEN OFF LIFE SUPPORT, AND DIES.
but wht the boy didn't kno is that the girl only asked him those questions so she could hear him say it one last time, and she only broke up w/him because she knew she only had 3 more weeks to live, and thought it would cause him less pain and give him time to get over her before she died.
NEXT DAY
the boy is found dead with a gun in his hand..with a note in the other... THE NOTE SAID:i told her i would take a bullet for her....just like she said she would die for me...
Copy and paste this if you cryed at this story..If u dont u dont have a heart..
