MaraPets - Blogs

8 entries · 41 comments · since 2008

Never go to bed angry... stay up and plot your revenge.
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When life gives you lemons, throw them back and say you want oranges. (
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If practice makes perfect and nobody's perfect, why try?
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I believe in free will - I have no choice.
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If I throw a stick will you go away?
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If a tree falls in a forest on a mime and no one is around, does he scream?
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I'm just a chocolate bar... sweet but half nuts!
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If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?
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Do not follow in my footsteps. I walk into walls.
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Being stupid isn't a bad thing, you're just overdoing it.
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If you choke a smurf, what color does it turn?
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What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
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If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
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If olive oil is made of olives, then baby oil is made of... OMG!
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People who live in glass houses should dress in the basement.
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You have the Midas touch - everything you touch turns to a muffler.
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What was the greatest thing BEFORE sliced bread?
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If swimming is so good for your figure, how do you explain whales?
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I planted some birdseed. A bird came up. Now I don't know what to feed it.
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What's another word for thesaurus?
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A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries.
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What is a free gift? Aren't all gifts free?
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I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous.
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All I ask is a chance to prove money can't make me happy.
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They told me I was gullible. And I believed them.
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A beggar asked me for 50 cents for a sandwich. I said, First let me see the sandwich.
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Experience is the one thing you have left when everything else is gone.
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I had amnesia once. Or twice.
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I went to San Francisco. I found someone's heart.
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Last week I forgot how to ride a bicycle.
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What if there were no hypothetical questions?
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One nice thing about egotists: They don't talk about other people.
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I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.
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How can there be self-help groups?
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Is there another word for synonym?
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Where do forest rangers go to get away from it all?

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vizarilove9 Jan 20091comment

257 Ways 2 Annoy Peoplevizarilove

>>>>257 Ways To Annoy People!<<<<

1. Specify that your drive-thru order is "to go."

2. If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.

3. Start each meal by conspicuously licking all your food, and announce that this is so no one will "swipe your grub."

4.Name your dog "Dog."

5. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."

6. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what you think."

7. Claim that you must always wear a bicycle helmet as part of your "astronaut training."

8. Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything they touch with a can of Lysol.

9. Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.

10. Do not add any inflection to the end of your sentences, producing awkward silences with the impression that you'll be saying more any moment.

11. Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way."

12. Tell 1-800 operators they sound broccoli is sooo and ask for a date.

13. Sew anti-theft detector strips into people's backpacks.

14. Hide dairy products in inaccessible places.

15. Order a side of pork rinds with your fillet mignon.

16. Change channels five minutes before the end of every show.

17. Tape pieces of "Sweating to the Oldies" over climatic parts of rental movies.

18. Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints by the cash register.

19. Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets.

20. Repeat everything someone says as a question.

21. Write "X - BURIED TREASURE" in random spots on all of someone's road maps.

22. Inform everyone you meet of your personal Kennedy assassination, UFO, and OJ Simpson conspiracy theories.

23. Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: "Do you hear that?", "What?", "Never mind, it's gone now."

24. Light road flares on a birthday cake.

25. Wander around a restaurant, asking other diners for their parsley.

26. At the Laundromat, use one dryer for each of your socks.

27. Stand over someone's shoulder, mumbling as they read.

28. Ask people what gender they are.

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vizarilove8 Jan 200910comments

How to Annoy ______ (Fill in the blank)vizarilove

These Are Hilarious!!!

1.follow them around the house everywhere.

2. Moo when they say your name.

3. Pretend to have amnesia.

4. Say everything backwards.

5. Run into walls.

6. Say that wearing clothes is against your religion.

7. Go into their room at 4 in the morning and say "Good Morning Sunshine!"

8. Snort loudly when you laugh and then laugh harder.

9. Say all of the words in a film.

10. Pluck someone's hair out and yell "DNA!!!"

11. Wear a sticker that says "I'm a !"

12. Talk to a pen.

13. Have 20 imaginary friends that you talk to ALL the time.

14. Try and climb the wall.

15. In public yell "NO MUM I WILL NOT clip ur toenails"

16. Put pegs on your nose and eyes.

17. Switch the light button on and off for awhile. Then say "Oh...I get it!"

18. Eat your hair.

19. Hold their hand and whisper to them "I see dead people."

20. When you shower or bath yell "I'm drowning!!!!"

21. At everything they say yell "LIAR!!"

22. Pretend to be a phone.

23. Try to swim in the floor.

24. Tap on their door all night.

25. When they say a word from a song you know...burst into that song.

26. Look through magazines and shout loudly "BRITTANY IS MARRIED TO A CAVE MAN!" and other random things.

27. Take all of the toilet paper from the bathroom and try to sell it to ur parents!

28. Pass out bananas

29. Ask how much is 1 hersheys kiss

30. Skip down the aisles singing "i've been working on the railroad......"

31. Hand out missing person fliers of yourself

32. Say "thats hot!" after EVERY thing you say.

33. Camp out in the frozen food section.

34.Ask someone where the cereal is when you're standing right next to it.

35. Give random old people your number

36. Go around asking people if their mother knows what they're doing.

37. Go up to someone and tell them their face is funny and run away.

Someone needs 2 try these !!Comment if you like them!

:]

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vizarilove29 Dec 200815comments

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