I miss the old days. I miss me back before I woke up and realized that the world wasn't perfect. I miss being able to talk to Tanya, being friends, inseperable with oodles of inside jokes. I miss being in Chibs Forever, and I even miss the pathetic dramas we had, that, SEVERAL times, led to Tanya and I (and once, Jellybean) creating our own club. I miss being able to talk to Middy as friends without having drifted apart, lost in the sea of pre-mod acquaintances, and I miss being able to say anything on the site without being bombarded by newbies, beggars, jaded oldies and just plain rude people. I miss being able to joke with Kar without her spurting in fmie jokes and german, and I miss the way mara was before cliques and wealth classification ruled the day. I miss being able to profit off of things without buying account upgrades, and I miss an economy that wasn't ruled by insane inflation. I miss pets that weren't slapped together at the last minute to rake in some extra cash, and I miss the personable way the news felt two years ago. I miss the editorial, and I miss the way we used to help, not lash out. I miss the jokes and fun on the pet boards, and the hilarious titles that made you want to know the person. I miss boards without characters, and I miss times without zac efron, miley cyrus and fashion shows bombarding you.

Most of all, I miss being able to talk to people who listen, instead of just ranting and raving, and eventually apologizing and grovelling to an inbox which would never be read, and never reply.

I miss Tanya, I miss my friends... and I miss the old me. I don't like being cynical, sarcastic, aloof, and with this mile-thick wall. I want to be frail, fragile, in distress. I want to cry, to scream, to do anything other than what I've been doing, which is just... floating by. I want to remain myself.

And I miss that.